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Updates 3.16.17

Hey, guys sorry for not updating last time about me going to the gym and meeting the trainer. A lot has been going on that's in my life that's been keeping me from being able to go to the gym. I've been having a rough time with my depression and recently shit happened with my car so now I don't really know what to do.

Picture this, waking up to a beautiful morning, telling yourself everything is going to be a great day. Makeup on point, hair beautifully kept then you go outside to go to your day and a bird shits all over your face. That's literally my life right now.

My dad's job relocated him to Tucson, Arizona last year and my sister is going to college in Tucson as well. My mom is finishing up her schooling here in California and once she's done with that she's going to be moving to AZ. I will still be staying in California because my friends, boyfriend as well as a job is out here, I don't have my own place but I'll be staying with my grandma. I want to be with my family but I also want to be with my friends and boyfriend because in a way they're my family too. My car was recently repossessed while I'm on holiday with my family in AZ. I got a call while I was away from a family member saying my car was stolen, called the police etc. and then I was told it was repossessed. FML. I've been having a super hard time with money and I was going to make a payment once I got money in from my job but bills just kept gathering and it became this whole "What can I pay for?" and "What should I pay for right now?" I've cut back on a lot, even my groceries, I don't eat out too often and I try to only shop for things I need and not for things that I want. I've been also trying to focus on this, my blog, trying to express what I have to say. Putting my two cents into the world though I'm sure no one is listening.

I'm trying to stay positive but it's getting hard, I'm out of sticks and I'm out of carrots. I'll still keep my blog as updated as possible, talking about depression and my life and how I kind of get through my day. I'm finding that this is the best outlet for me to express my feelings. I don't know if I have any readers or what but if you're following my journey thank you.

Be sure to follow me on IG and Snapchat @Luckyhoneybunny

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Update 4.18.17

Hey again, long time no talk right? So last time I wrote I was in the middle of my car being repossessed while I was on holiday. Some crazy drama right? Well, its nothing that I can't handle though. At first, it was really stressful it really was a learning experience. Something I hope to never go through again and hope it never happens to my friends or family either. Through breakdowns, screaming and crying  I finally got my car back. I have such a great support system that I can lean on and I couldn't be more thankful to have them.

Everything in my life right now is just so stressful, family, friends, and love life. Sometimes I wish I could just pause everything and just have a moment to breathe.

I still feel like I'm trying to figure out who I am, or what I want to do with my life that is. It fucking sucks honestly, I get scared sometimes. Scared I won't know what I'll do with the rest of my life how I'm going to survive. I know I'll find my 'callin…

Update 6.28.17

So my moms leaving...

  I never thought I'd say that. One part of me wants to go to AZ with them, be with my mom, dad and sister. The other half of me tells me that my life is here. I'm suppose to be here in California. Living and trying to make it in the Bay Area. My mom said that if anything goes wrong I can of course come back home and that my family are planning on moving back to California... I just feel like I'm still alone.

  I know I have my moms family out here but I don't hangout with them as much. No one invites me to anything or asks me to hangout. I've always felt like the black sheep of the family. I don't mind being different, being different is how you get noticed. Hell its how I get jobs and a lot of people say I'm always being myself. Not saying my family isn't different or being themselves, I just like different things.

  I hope that I'll be closer to my moms side of the family, hangout with them more. I mean I don't even know…