Skip to main content

Update 6.28.17

So my moms leaving...

  I never thought I'd say that. One part of me wants to go to AZ with them, be with my mom, dad and sister. The other half of me tells me that my life is here. I'm suppose to be here in California. Living and trying to make it in the Bay Area. My mom said that if anything goes wrong I can of course come back home and that my family are planning on moving back to California... I just feel like I'm still alone.

  I know I have my moms family out here but I don't hangout with them as much. No one invites me to anything or asks me to hangout. I've always felt like the black sheep of the family. I don't mind being different, being different is how you get noticed. Hell its how I get jobs and a lot of people say I'm always being myself. Not saying my family isn't different or being themselves, I just like different things.

  I hope that I'll be closer to my moms side of the family, hangout with them more. I mean I don't even know anyone's favorite color. As stupid as that sounds but to me that's pretty basic knowledge of knowing someone. Like I know my best friends like the back of my hand and to me they're my family. People who've been there for me when no one else was. My moms side of the family don't really know what goes on in my life and I only ever see them at family parties.

  Lately I've been feeling really depressed because I already feel alone and to throw this on top... it's just a lot of weight.

  I think I can handle it... I think...

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Updates 3.16.17

Hey, guys sorry for not updating last time about me going to the gym and meeting the trainer. A lot has been going on that's in my life that's been keeping me from being able to go to the gym. I've been having a rough time with my depression and recently shit happened with my car so now I don't really know what to do.

Picture this, waking up to a beautiful morning, telling yourself everything is going to be a great day. Makeup on point, hair beautifully kept then you go outside to go to your day and a bird shits all over your face. That's literally my life right now.

My dad's job relocated him to Tucson, Arizona last year and my sister is going to college in Tucson as well. My mom is finishing up her schooling here in California and once she's done with that she's going to be moving to AZ. I will still be staying in California because my friends, boyfriend as well as a job is out here, I don't have my own place but I'll be staying with my grandm…

Update 9.6.17

I didn't know what to talk about since I haven't been doing much to update you. But I think I might have something to talk about now. Betrayal. Hurt. Anger. Trust issues.

  Some pretty heavy stuff right? Yeah I know, but with some recent shitty "events" as we'll refer to them have happened. Events that I'm not okay with. So as we all know or maybe have figured, I have trust issues. This was and has been caused from moving a lot as a child, knowing my real dad didn't want me and of course the Cherry of it all, heart break.

  With the moving I don't blame my parents for that, we had to move. But not having the same friends all the time was pretty shitty and going into middle school or high school where everyone knew each other where I had to start from scratch sucked. But I'm over it and I've learned how to make friends. But now as I get older I try not to get close to anyone in fear that I'll move or they'll move away. I like keeping…