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Update 6.28.17

So my moms leaving...

  I never thought I'd say that. One part of me wants to go to AZ with them, be with my mom, dad and sister. The other half of me tells me that my life is here. I'm suppose to be here in California. Living and trying to make it in the Bay Area. My mom said that if anything goes wrong I can of course come back home and that my family are planning on moving back to California... I just feel like I'm still alone.

  I know I have my moms family out here but I don't hangout with them as much. No one invites me to anything or asks me to hangout. I've always felt like the black sheep of the family. I don't mind being different, being different is how you get noticed. Hell its how I get jobs and a lot of people say I'm always being myself. Not saying my family isn't different or being themselves, I just like different things.

  I hope that I'll be closer to my moms side of the family, hangout with them more. I mean I don't even know anyone's favorite color. As stupid as that sounds but to me that's pretty basic knowledge of knowing someone. Like I know my best friends like the back of my hand and to me they're my family. People who've been there for me when no one else was. My moms side of the family don't really know what goes on in my life and I only ever see them at family parties.

  Lately I've been feeling really depressed because I already feel alone and to throw this on top... it's just a lot of weight.

  I think I can handle it... I think...

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